Handling vegetarianism and relationships, by Gogh

Handling vegetarianism and relationships, by Gogh The fear of not being able to handle vegetarianism and relationships is one of the common barriers to taking the step towards becoming a committed vegetarian. Objections from family members, loved ones, and alienation from friends or society are big deterrent to most people. Indeed, to anyone who has been “shifting in and out” of a vegetarian diet because of such reasons, you are not alone. In most cases, I believe, the strongest objections come from people who are dearest to us, and whom we love and care for. Let us start the discussion from our parents, then to our spouse and finally our friends. Our parents often think that they know what is best for us. Their love and concern might be real, though it may be based on ignorant grounds. Now, does being our parents give them the right to rule our life completely? Undeniably, we will not even be on the face of this earth if not for them. But did they really “make” us into this world? How can they be the masterminds of our existence when they do not even understand theirs? They are merely an instrument of a higher power. Ultimately, whatever we do, we have to be responsible for our own actions, and we will reap the seeds that we sow. Our parents, or anybody for that matter, will not be the one to bear the consequences of our actions, just because we listened to them. We have to learn to take charge of our own life, and to live it the way we believe. Nobody knows what is going to happen the next moment, but we can live our lives with no regrets if we choose to live every moment to our best and to the way we believe. If vegetarianism is what you believe in, then live it now! Step out of your fear and worry and embrace this wonderful new world of vegetarianism. Do not be hindered by objections from others. But I am not suggesting that we should fall out with our parents over vegetarianism. Filial piety is a great virtue, but it has to encompass a bigger picture. Giving in to the wishes of our parents is far from being filial. We are in fact doing more harm to them by condoning their mistakes built on ignorance. We are ruining their health by withholding knowledge of a healthy vegetarian diet. Certainly, they might not listen to us. Well, they have the right, like you, to live their lives as they believe. We have no control over their choices, but ours are in our hands. We have to make our statement clear to them, firmly, but never aggressively. To lead by example is probably the best way to influence them. Show them how you thrive healthily and happily on a vegetarian diet. Show them that a vegetarian diet can be interesting and great tasting with its endless possibilities. However, if you are not the one doing the cooking, you will probably have difficulties getting your vegetarian meals. Independence is important for any committed vegetarian. We cannot just sit around and wait for healthy and nutritious food to fall into our plate. Learn to prepare your own vegetarian meals and offer to share with your loved ones. Food preparation is actually very simple and quick. Vegetables or fruits salad, with nuts and seeds, are very nutritious and easy to prepare. If you need a more substantial meal, prepare a sandwich meal. There are plenty of possibilities if only you are willing to open yourself to it. In handling vegetarianism and your relationship with your spouse, perhaps we need to look at what love really is. True love is never about bondage. It is never about restricting the freedom of choice in another. If your loved ones withdraw their love from you just because you choose a different diet from them, perhaps the relationships need some reevaluation in the first place. It is definitely possible for vegetarians and non-vegetarians to live happily together. By accepting their meat-eating lifestyle, and leading by example ourselves on a vegetarian diet, we give them the space to reflect upon themselves and make real and sincere changes. What one chooses to eat is really a personal choice, and ultimately, it plays only a small role in our relationships. A successful relationship depends on many other factors like trust, acceptance and communication. It is not just about food. But this personal choice of food will play a big role in our own health and the well being of the world, affecting issues such as animal sufferings, environmental problems and world hunger. Being vegetarian does not mean the end of your social life. It does not mean you will have to stay away from non-vegetarians, or that they will start to alienate you. Besides eating, there are so many other things that we can enjoy doing with our friends. Anyway, most non-vegetarians are happy to try vegetarian foods. Otherwise, there are a growing number of restaurants and eateries that serve both vegetarian and meaty foods. Contacts with non-vegetarians are actually very much encouraged. What better way is there to be a positive influence on them? Be a gracious and firm vegetarian, never aggressive or critical. If they are interested in vegetarianism, tell them all that you know. If they are not, lead by silent example. As Norman Cousins has said, “Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of his conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life.” So, if you are still a semi-vegetarian, go ahead and take the step. Go out to the world and make your statement heard. You will feel better about yourself and be a positive influence to others. In face of so many world problems, health problems, environmental problems and animal sufferings, I dare say nothing is more urgent than spreading the message of vegetarianism. Article by Gogh Top Back to VSS Column.